I originally had something else planned for this post, but I decided to nix it because I thought I might hurt some people’s feelings (and oddly enough, the post dealt with potentially hurting people’s feelings during the wedding planning process). So instead, I’m just going to quote the late Ricky Nelson:
But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself.
I’m beginning to realize that no matter what, someone is going to feel disappointed, underwhelmed, slighted, ignored, etc. as a direct result of my and Cory’s wedding and the choices we have made regarding it. As a bride, it terrifies me that a day of such joy could be the catalyst for potentially years of turmoil, hurt feelings or silent grudges. But you know what? Not a thing I can do.
That’s a hard thing for me to grasp. That there’s nothing I can do. That I can’t control certain outcomes. That I can’t ensure everyone’s happiness.
I know what you’re thinking: But, Monica! It’s your day. It’s about you. Only your happiness matters! You’re not wrong, you’re certainly not. I offer no argument against the fact that anyone’s satisfaction and happiness but mine and Cory’s is irrelevant on that day. It’s the repercussions from other dissatisfied or unhappy people that frighten me.
As I mentioned earlier, this is stemming from another, more specific post I had typed out, but I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was calling them out, so you can assume for yourselves what might be causing me the most stress at the moment. And really, it could be anything. Even if you think back to weddings you’ve been to (even if you’re already married and remember the stress you were under during the planning stages) and recall something you didn’t like, you may be surprised at yourself. But I can guarantee you that the bride and groom (or, more likely, the bride and her mother) did everything they could to make that day nice and enjoyable, all within a budget.
I’m just going to be honest: this is hard. All the Pinterest boards and inspirational bridal magazines in the world can’t describe for anyone – sometimes not even other brides – what a single bride feels or what battles she wages within herself. As the date draws nearer, if other brides are like me, they constantly second-guess their decisions and themselves. Poring over their plans, guest list, food, cake, music selection, ceremony itinerary can leave them riddled with guilt.
This is not a post meant to have an uplifting ending that other brides can read and say, “Oh! It’ll all seem easy in the end!” This is not a post that contains a list of dos and don’ts for guests or friends of the couple.
This is just a post of me venting for a minute and confessing the stresses that maybe brides don’t want to admit for fear that we’ll seem weak or others will laugh off our frustrations or – sometimes worse – shrug off our frustrations like we should just discard them like we will that bouquet in a few months.
It’s just not that easy, folks. Not for me.